A scoop full of bullshit

This is in reference to a write-up I once read on the scoops and vomit, yes you heard right. He does have a distinct style and rather offbeat style that makes slang sophisticated. The author’s thoughts became a benchmark for me and helped understand where to NOT over do it. For example there was this “wanting to be journo” who to add some spice to his write-up put in a dash of profanity. While the journo who made an attempt to write like the author in question, his thoughts on this certain event allowed me to assume that he did he passed out from a vernacular medium school where English is taught as the 3rd language. There are some auto journalists who write quite well and to the point. This is not about who writes best but it is about those idiots who would have barely made it to the finish line probably begging for grace marks in English and for all you know have Bawled the BOWL and FRANNDSHIPPED the friendship. 

In fact they are so lazy that their plagiarism bleeds in almost everything they do when it comes to photographs. Their approach to auto- journalism is something like this:

Get lucky with any publication

Get an assignment even if they are not paid

This one is my favourite ”flash identity card”, (next we should print our calar fotos on our business cards)

Write a few lines of bullshit and coat it with phrases used by the bigger publishing houses

Publicise that junk all over the internet
So for those vomit spewing inglis doods (duds):

Go back to school and learn the parts of speech, try wren and martin without passing out (fainting)

Avoid txtn wn u ryt up fanC, lv 8 2 wsup.. 

If you want to be a rap lyricist, go learn the nuances and techniques to poetry, you are nothing more than a yuppie. If you think you are all that, look for a job as a lyricist.

Dancing around and uploading a video does not make you a “less poser”. Just that you posed too many frames Mr. DAD BOD, I will have to accept that belly dancers now have a new form of entertainment – YOU. So keep pohsing, don’t forget to keep the bike in the frame

Profanity – you should want to consider the fact that your vocabulary sucks, so bad that if you were a black hole, gravity would pull you in. So 1st polish your language – try passing primary grade before you “rapidex’’

Look up the meaning plagiarism understand it, digest and DO NOT digress it.
Last but not the least feed yourself a scoop full of your verbal bullshit
That pretty much sums it up.

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2 thoughts on “A scoop full of bullshit”

  1. You totally nailed it with that approach to ‘Auto-Journalism’ bit. Like they say: every other thing in writing can be improved upon; but a crass attitude – there’s no cure for that 😦

    Like

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